Recently scrolling through the notes saved on my iPhone, I found one that I saved from December 20, 2014. Nearly four years later, my husband and I are expecting our first child, and I smile at how certain we were in our relationship and how much we’ve grown together since then. It was the best decision I’ve made in my life, and I cannot begin to imagine where we would be now had we broken under pressure. I only hope that we continue down this path as we bring our daughter into the world and teach her that above all else, to trust herself.
12/20/14 Note:
“Are you pregnant?”
The question weighed heavy on my mind as the accusations piled in and I began contemplate the recent turn of events.
“No.”
Shortly after moving in together, the topic of marriage arose inevitably, but the discussion was far from hesitant. Dating for more than three years, marriage appeared to be the next step in our lives and we were both confident that it was the right choice for our relationship; nevertheless, the skepticism and lack of belief that long term love and commitment could be reasonably found at a young age was nothing short of disheartening.
“Are you serious? I’ve been with my boyfriend for years and I’m not pushing him into marriage.”
The conversation was cut short and I was left once again feeling the pressure from everyone’s judgement. How was it that they could seem so confused and unsupportive? Was it me? Was it us? Were we making a rash and irresponsible decision? Although I understood the perspective of my friend, I still felt confident that marriage was right for us.
“Wait another year first.”
Why? What’s the hold up and what would I know or learn about him that I already wouldn’t be aware of? I’m not saying things don’t change, but these situations are different for everyone. The subjective views that everyone holds are tailored to the lives we live; for my husband and I, this was not only the right decision for us, but one we were both eager to finally embark on.
After discussing it, considering the consequences and speaking to close family members, we decided that our love for one another weighed greater than any of the negative aspects.
He officially proposed and shortly after we went into planning. Within two months, we were husband and wife.
In Between the Margins 